Looking Toward Heaven

DIVORCE: ME, MY KIDS, AND ME ... ME ... ME!

2011-08-06T19:29:00.000-07:00

Today I visited Fr. Dwight Longenecker's blog, STANDING ON MY HEAD. He wrote a very good article called 'Catholics and Divorce.' It made me think of my own life and the consequences of my own mistakes and failure to live my life as the Catholic I was raised to be. It made me want to share my story so that maybe someone may take something from it and save their own soul. I did receive an annulment and have remarried, but not without deep guilt and sorrow for my sins ... sins that could have destroyed my soul and other's souls also.

To make a long story short, I married young ... too young! I was raised in a very strict, traditional Catholic family and I wanted to escape. The only possible way to do that was to get married. Funny part is that I did not realize that at the time. I knew I wanted out, but I didn't put two and two together. Truth be told I fancied myself in love and what I was really in love with was freedom! It was, as REO Speedwagon says, 'TIME FOR ME TO FLY!'

Married life for the first 5 and 1/2 years was a continuous party. I traveled the United States as a Navy wife, met many "cool" folks and put my faith and morals in the back of my mind. Then I had my three children, one daughter and 2 boys. I felt like I was raising them by myself. My ex-husband was gone six months out of the year. I was alone and struggling to maintain any sort of peace of mind. I fought severe depression for many years. My first diagnosis was when I was a senior in high school.

I don't know at what point I realized that there was no love in the marriage. Maybe it was after he had a vascetomy and I was denied the right to have more children. I only know that I was the one keeping things together. I did the housework, the yardwork, and took care of the bills and the kids. Life was so lonely that it broke me. I had no family around and had to fend for myself. My ex-husband seemed oblivious to my feelings ... that or he just didn't care ... I don't know. My ex-husband was a drinker and so the partying never ended ... There were other things that weren't right, but I won't go into them because that is between us and the Lord. We tried marriage counseling and that was a disaster because only one of us was cooperative. Bet you can't guess who that was! At any rate all of this led me once again to the conclusion that it was, 'Time For Me To Fly.'

Back then I felt bad. So bad that sometimes I wanted to die. It was a good thing I didn't die because I would have gone straight to hell. I thought I was putting my kids first. I tried to consider how a divorce would affect them. Some people thought that the kids would be better off. Some (his mother) told me to just get out of his life! Others said "you'll miss the money." Me, myself, and I simply wanted to be loved and to be happy. I wanted the loneliness that was always with me to go away. I wanted the sadness and the desperation to disappear. It was all about me! I realize that now, 24 years later, I realize how awful I was back then. My kids suffered so much because I needed more ... I wanted happiness ... I wanted love. I can NEVER make it up to them.

If I had continued to practice my faith when I got married maybe things would have gone differently. In fact I know it would have been different. God would have given me the strength and grace to withstand the loneliness and pain. Instead, I went to Mass off and on over a period of 15 years. My ex-husband wasn't into going to church and many times when I had planned to go he made other plans. Truth is I was beginning to believe the women's lib garbage and I fell into the "me, me, me" psychology! As long as we feel good right? WRONG!

During the year I was waiting for my divorce I lived my present husband. I had convinced myself that God would want me to be happy. He wouldn't want me to suffer anymore or to live a lie any longer. He would forgive me for the adultry and sanction my second marriage. I BELIEVED THE DEVIL'S LIES. That is it in a nutshell. When we want something bad enough we begin to believe those evil lies and convince ourselves we won't lose our souls because we aren't doing anything wrong.

After I remarried God began to nag me. It took me eight and a half years, but I finally went to a priest and sought an annulment. I had begun to watch EWTN's Mother Angelica and that was the push I needed to go back to the church. After 18 months I was granted an annulment and had my marriage blessed in the church. It was a very joyous occasion for me. My husband had been baptized Catholic but raised Lutheran. That Easter after our marriage in the Catholic Church, he became a full and practicing Catholic. That was the beginning of my conversion, the conversion that has been ongoing ever since.

What I realize now is that I hurt my kids. I hurt my ex-husband. I hurt myself. I hurt anyone close to me, because I wanted happiness. I didn't know that true happiness and peace of mind could only be found in God. Before I say what I am going to say next I need everyone who reads this to know that I love my husband with all of my heart. We are soul mates and we have a marriage that few find. God is the beginning and the end of our marriage. He always comes first and that is what makes it such a happy union. We don't have a lot of money or a fancy home or all of the material things most people strive for. Truth is we don't need that stuff. God provides everything we need to be at peace in this messed up, evil world. The only thing that matters to us is that we live a life of penance for ourselves and for others so that we can atone for some of the horrible things we have done in God's eyes. Having said that I now will say something that he and I have often talked about and he totally understands that I am not undermining our love or our marriage, only looking at the big picture through the eyes of faith.

I often think that I should have stayed. If I knew then what I know now I don't believe I would have left. I would have understood that a woman of faith can be the cause of the conversion of her faithless husband. I understand that we should carry our crosses and not complain of the hardship. I understand that suffering is what helps us to gain our heavenly reward. Earlier I stated that I hurt my ex-husband, my kids, myself and others. The one I hurt the most was Jesus. He died for me and I couldn't accept my suffering. I chose the devil's lies over Him.

Psalm 50 (51) says "my sin is always before me" and this is the truth. Once you realize the extent of your sin it never leaves your mind and this is how it should be. I do not mean that you should dwell on it or become depressed or despair over it. You just simply know the evil you have done and if you really and truly feel sorrow for those sins you may even be given the gift of tears. Keeping that sin before you and feeling sorrow for hurting our Lord and Saviour, should keep you on the straight and narrow. It should make you want to do penance and if you realize the severity of those sins you will want to do penance for the rest of your life and you will NEVER want to offend Him again.

Fr. Longenecker is right when he says " My own way is first to welcome all and then explain the true teaching of the church and invite them to live it out despite the difficulties, and to provide them with every help and assistance to do so." As Catholics we should look at the teaching of the church and no matter how difficult, no matter what the trials, we should live as she teaches. I knew way back then, that I was on the wrong path, but I chose to ignore it. I am very blessed because "He led me into the open, He delivered me because He loved me." (psalm 17, taken from the Benedictine Monastic Diurnal)

If one person can learn from this story then it was worth telling. We must remember that the devil is the father of lies. When we begin to feel that loneliness and we are suffering beyond what WE think we can handle, it is easy to begin to believe those lies. I took the long and crooked road. It has been a very rough path but I have learned so much along the way, thanks to our Lord. God has led me out of my sin and into a life of penance. I understand totally what I have done and what I now need to do to make ammends. My path is through the Confraternity of Penitents. For me this is the perfect way of life. For you it may be different and that's OK. We must follow the will of God if we are to grow in our spiritual life and earn our way to heaven. He will show you the way if you let Him.

I would encourage everyone to study the Catholic Faith. Learn it , live it, breath it ... make the faith your life and you can't go wrong!

Oh and one more thing ... that severe depression ... gone ... 24 years free!!! It is faith that brings us joy and peace. It is that faith that frees us from our depression!!!

Pax et bonum (peace and all good)!!!

MORAL RENEWAL OF OUR COUNTRY

2011-06-30T18:07:00.000-07:00

This evening I was looking at some facebook pages of teenagers ... even adults ... and I feel sickened by the lack of moral values today.

I see young girls dressing like women of the night. They don't care who sees their body and it seems the more the better. I see young men and young girls making lewd remarks to one another. They don't seem to understand that they are spoiling their reputations. I see these young people pulled in by groups like PETA and by so called musicians like Jeffery Starr, Lady Gaga, Blood on the Dance Floor, etc ... not to mention the degrading music called Rap. Boys and Girls have their gender lines blurred. They do not respect adults. They feel they can say whatever they want, do whatever they want, live in whatever disgusting soiled way they want ... and WHERE ARE THE PARENTS?

I will tell you where they are. Many of them are doing the same things the kids are. They are being intimate (I am keeping this "nice" so I don't get in trouble) with whomever they feel like being with at any given moment. They are listening to that awful stuff they call music (especially the rapp). They are doing their drugs and drinking their alcohol and letting the kids watch! That's what they are doing.

Before I continue, I should say that NOT ALL PARENTS are doing these things. But MANY ARE! The kids whose parents aren't doing these things and are truly trying to raise them right are up against all those who do not believe in traditional values. You can't spank or punish your child. You shouldn't have competition because one might get hurt feelings. You can't teach your child to speak out or he/she may face a hate crime charge and be expelled from school or wherever ... it goes on and on and on ...

We need to do something to help this country so I am going to post a new prayer here. Permission to distrubute this prayer has been given by Bishop Tobin of the Diocese of Providence, RI and the letter of permission can be found here http://www.penitents.org/BishopPermission.htm. This prayer should reach as many people as possible and should be prayed often.

PRAYER FOR THE MORAL RENEWAL OF OUR COUNTRY

Lord, we ask You to send Saint Michael

and all the host of heaven

to battle against the forces of evil and death in our nation.

We ask specifically that the moral degradation

of our country be reversed

and that we will enter a time of moral renewal.

We ask that all human beings be respected

and their lives protectected by law,

and that our nation's inhabitants will turn to you

in purity, trust, selflessness, love, and faith.

With this intention in mind, we offer this prayer.

St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle.

Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.

May God rebuke him, we humbly pray

and do Thou O Prince of the Heavenly Host - by the power of God,

cast into hell, satan and all the evil spirits,

who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls.

Amen

(prayer of St. Michael composed by Pope Leo XIII)

Confraternity of Penitents

520 Oliphant Lane

Middletown, RI 02842

http://www.penitents.org/

401 - 849 -5421

cfpenitents@gmail.com

I hope many read and copy this prayer so we may all begin to work towards moral renewal. Our children deserve better than this ... much better than this. We need to begin to teach them, to take them to church, to love them and give them the tools necessary to save their souls.

I will sign off now with sadness of heart, yet much hope in my heart that we can, through our united effort in prayer can begin to turn things around. Don't forget to pray the Rosary. Our Blessed Mother won't let us down!

The Last 4 Commandments

2011-06-29T13:42:00.000-07:00

I know it probably means little to anyone, but I have been a long time away from my blog. Shame on me ... not so much that it is widely read, but that I should follow through with what I start! So here I am once again and I hope what I write helps someone ... if not maybe it will help me in examining my own conscience!

I am going to finish up the last 4 commandments so I can move on to other subjects. There are some things I think worth writing about even if it is only to help me clear my own mind. If it reaches someone else and helps them then I will consider that a wonderful gift from God!

The 7th Commandment: Thou shalt not steal.

There are so many ways that are considered stealing that we probably can't get to them all. So we'll look at a few and perhaps all will get the general idea and expand on it in one's own mind.

Fraud ... unjust wages, forcing prices up, etc.
Gambling ... using money that is needed for care of household, children, etc.
Enslavement of human beings
Government ... communism, socialism, marxism, etc.
Theft of goods ... money, clothing, anything that belongs to another.

Think of the little things ... you're in a restaurant and you take a whole handful of napkins ... way more than you are going to use. Who do you think the excess napkins belong to? Not you! You pick up a pen at work and when finished you put it in your pocket instead of leaving it there. Didn't you just steal the pen? Yes! You love that new CD or Movie your friend just got so you borrow it and make your own copy ... Sorry ... you just stole the CD or Movie. You can even steal a persons reputation by gossip.
There are a million ways you can steal. I hear all of the time "they have so much money they aren't going to miss this or they won't care ... Maybe they do have a lot of money. That doesn't give you the right to steal. Maybe they won't miss it. That doesn't give you the right to steal.
Let's be a little more careful and thoughtful. Let us understand that we are offending God everytime we steal. We are commiting a sin that must be confessed and we must make restitution for. Let's just accept what we have and be content with it and if we need more let's find a way to earn enough to purchase what we need.

The 8th Commandment: Thou shalt not bear fals witness against thy neighbor.

The 8th commandment teaches us to speak only the truth with Martyrdom being the ultimate witness to truth. We should not lie about other people or purger ourselves. We must respect one's reputation by not judging rashly or speaking of their faults without good reason. We may not confirm another's maliciousness. Socity has a right to information, social media should be disciplined and moderate and no confessor may break the seal of confession.

The 9th Commandment: Thou shalt not covet they neighbor's wife.

We must guard ourselves against lust of flesh, eyes, and pride of life. We must be modest. We must purify our social climate. We must not be morally permissive. Purity of heart enables us to see God and what He desires from us. It also calls for prayer, chastity and purity of intention.

The 10th Commandment: Thou shalt not covet they neighbor's goods.

The 10th commandment forbids greed and avarice arising from a passion for riches and the power they bring. We may desire our neighbors goods as long as we obtain them in a just way. We must not envy as it can lead to the most horrible of crimes. It is a capital sin and stems from pride. Our desires show us where our heart is. We must detach from riches. Christ's faithful crucify the flesh with it's passions and desires and are led by the Holy Spirit and do His will.

By living the last 3 commandments we purify our hearts and ready ourselves to be with God!

I believe the last three are very difficult for most people. We must mortify our senses and our bodies in order to be strong enough to say "yes" to God and to persevere in living a holy life.

May God bless you and help you to live life for Him alone!

The 6th Commandment

2011-05-03T15:15:00.000-07:00

The 6th commandment, THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTRY, encompasses the whole of sexuality.

WHAT'S PERMITTED:

Procreation between a Married man and a woman. Notice this says MARRIED ... MAN and WOMAN.

Acceptance of our sexual identity which includes: physical, moral, and spiritual difference. What an insult to God to try and change ourselves from one gender to another! Our goal in life should be to know, love, and serve the Lord in this world and to be happy with Him in the next. We shouldn't be looking for what will make us "happy" ... we should be looking to make God happy ... to please God, not ourselves. He gave us the commandments to follow and they give us a moral code to live by. If we follow these we will not offend our Lord.

Chastity - Masters the passions and (is a grace also). It also encompasses friendship. The way to master our passion is through fasting and abstinence. You must develop a good prayer life in order to do this. Prayer helps us to follow through and the fasting and abstinence encourages us to pray more. They go hand in hand and once mastered you will also be able to master your physical passions. This is not to say that you will not be tempted ... it says that you will be able to fight the temptations! God never allows more than we are capable of withstanding.

Love - Love is a beautiful thing and we should love all individuals as Jesus would love them. If you truly love someone you will respect the moral boundries that God gave us. Physical love is between a man and a woman and it is reserved to the married life. Anything else is outside the moral boundries and is sinful.

Regulation of birth within the church law - Many people think that the church allows birth control. This is false! By using birth control one withholds part of himself/herself from the spouse. A very good book on the subject is "Contraception and the Family: The Immorality of Contraception and it's Effects on Family Life" by Fr. Roberto A. Latorre. It can be found here. By using birth control one becomes an object and this can and will destroy a marriage. I would suggest anyone who doesn't understand this should read the book I mentioned. It is a very easy read and it is the best I have ever read on the subject.

WHAT'S NOT PERMITTED:

I will simply list those things not permitted. I will not go into them as they are self explanitory!

Adultry
Divorce
Looking at the opposite sex with lust
Masturbation
Homosexuality
Pornography
Prostitution
Rape
Sterilization
Birth Control
Artificial insemination
Polygamy
Incest
Free union

I think most of us know these things. We just choose not to abide by them. What we do not stop to think about is that while our passions are being fed and we feel so happy at the moment ... we may be losing our souls. Eternity is a very long time and it is not worth losing our soul for a little fun or happiness here.

True happiness is found only in living the life Jesus Christ taught us to live. If we tame our passions we will find a freedom and peace that most people long for and seek in the wrong places. Only God can bring peace of soul to us. Once we feel the freedom, even a little bit, we will want more and we will turn to our Lord more and more, until we can long for nothing else but Him!

God Bless you all and have a wonderful rest of the week!

40 DAYS FOR LIFE

2011-03-15T18:12:00.000-07:00

In many places across the country people are doing the 40 days for life during this holy season of lent. I met someone who has done this before and who regularly prays in front of the abortion mill downtown. She invited my husband and I along to pray the rosary for life for 1 hour each week during lent. We decided it would be a wonderful experience and joined her today for what was one of the most moving experiences of my life.

There were only 3 of us during this particular hour and so each of us led 5 decades of the Rosary. Our friend began with the Joyful mysteries, my husband led the Sorrowful mysteries and I led the Glorious mysteries. As we prayed I saw 3 or 4 different vehicles drive in. The place is eerie looking. There is a privacy fence all around the property and a chain link fence in front of that. There is also shrubbery growing above the privacy fence on the inside. The only way to see in is the driveway where the gate is open.

I could barely look at the place and I felt the evil around it. While I was leading the rosary I saw a car in and in a little bit come back out with a woman in the passenger seat. She was slumped down, leaning toward the driver as though she wished not to be seen. The look on her face was one of sorrow and sadness. I shudder to imagine the suffering this young woman is going to do over the course of her lifetime. As they drove by I broke down in tears. I was struck by the fact that a baby had just been killed as if it was an unwanted animal. I felt such pain for this young woman who had just done this thing and sorrow for both her and the child she no longer has with her. How horribly sad this country is when it allows this kind of thing to happen.

I cannot get this image out of my mind. At first I thought that perhaps I wasn't cut out to pray in front of abortion mills. I have cried over this several times today. I realize that I MUST keep going and praying. We need to end this sensless killing of innocent children. Next door to this place is a women's pro-life center. I am going to take them a copy of My Child, My Gift: A Positive Response to Serious Prenatal Diagnosis

which is available here. It is a very good book written by Madeline Pecora Nugent, founder and Minister General of the Confraternity of Penitents.

I will continue to pray for an end to abortion and I will continue to go to pray in front of the abortion mill even after the 40 Days For Life ends. I don't believe I will ever stop. Jesus loves the children and so do I!

Have a great rest of the week and I will be back soon with the 6th commandment!

Peace and All Good!

IT'S LENT ... TIME FOR PENANCE!

2011-03-09T08:16:00.000-08:00

THE AGONY IN THE GARDEN

It's that time of year again ... my favorite time of year ... It's Lent! We should look at our suffering Lord and strive to be like Him. All through the New Testament you find Jesus and St. Paul telling us that we should give up the world and follow Him. We should be able to denounce those things we want and instead choose to carry our cross. It's heavy you say? Wasn't our Lord's cross heavy? Didn't He need help carrying it? Why should we be any different? We should pick up our crosses and carry them, knowing that we are gaining merit if we offer our suffering to Jesus in union with His suffering. If we need help we should ask Him to help us carry the load ... Guess what ... He will do just that. Most of all we should feel joy while carrying our crosses because we can be certain that God loves us very much if we are suffering. If we were already condemned He would not allow or send crosses to us because there would be no need! Suffering is a sure sign that we are not yet lost ... What has to be done though is ... YOU have to accept it with joy and love of our Savior.

Now folks is the time to give up some of those attachments you have. Do it for and in union with our Lord! In His agony He ask God to remove the cup, but only if it is His will. He was willing to suffer for us. Are you willing to suffer for love of Him?

Some people live in a spirit of penance as a way of life. It is a way to help the souls out there who are lost. It is a way to help save your own soul. It is a way to help rebuild the Church for the glory of God! It aids the soul to reach a state of sanctity (holiness). To have a look at how these people live, visit the Confraternity of Penitents website. Maybe you will be a little more inspired to get into the spirit of Lent if you visit them and see that they live this way everyday of their lives!

God Bless and have a happy and holy Lent!

THOU SHALL NOT KILL - THE 5th COMMANDMENT

2011-03-07T18:47:00.000-08:00

The fifth commandment holds within it so much more than most people realize. I am going to make a list and then if I have time I will expand on the things listed. Most of it will make sense as soon as you read it but there are some that you probably never though about! So it's time we learn what is really in the 5th commandment.

Anger
Jealousy
Hatred
Revenge
The right to bear arms
The necessity to defend those you are in charge of
The death penalty
Infanticide
Fratricide
Parricide
Murder of spouse
Self defense
Dealings that lead to hunger and death of others indirectly commit homicide.
Abortion
Legislation that deprives human beings of protection
Embryo's (producing and disposal)
Euthanasia of handicapped, sick and dying
Painkillers -these are OK if not used to provoke death
Suicide
Scandal (causing another to sin by suicide or murder)
Reasonable respect for health
Use of drugs
Avoidance of excess scientific research
Organ transplants
Respect of bodily integrity
Terrorism
Kidnapping
Torture
Amputations, mutilations and sterilizations
Respect for the dead
Autopsies
Cremation
Peace of heart (renouncing violence, avoiding war, bearing arms, injustice, economic and social inequalities, envy, distrust and pride.

All of these things in one way or another are held within the 5th commandment. We should pay special attention to the scientific ones as they are so prominent in today's world ... and unethical. How many realize that by donating your organs you are giving another permission to kill you. In order to harvest organs the person must be alive! And when those organs are gone life is ended for the donor. Most will argue that you are probably going to live in a vegetative state and never recover or that you are brain dead. Sorry folks, while it is a good thing to want to help others I will never consent to someone playing God and deciding if my life is over. Only God knows that.

We have artificial insemination ... embryos are alive folks and then destroyed when no longer needed. That's killing a baby. We have doctors who choose to end a life with pain killers. Families don't want their loved ones to suffer any longer. It is NOT our choice. The choice belongs to God. Science is good generally ... but not when it is used to make choices only God should make.

Anger, jealousy, greed, envy ... all can lead to murder. Gossip can lead to "murder" in that it can cause a person to commit suicide. It actually kills! Drugs ... you are harming your body. God made us in His image and likeness, so how can we choose to harm ourselves. I did it for years folks with smoking. 8 years ago I chose God over my addiction and I am not saying it was easy because it wasn't but I really want to be with Him in the end ... those cigarettes kept my mind always occupied ... I couldn't stay inside for even an hour without a smoke. Not only was I choosing the cigarettes over God but I was doing harm to my body!

Here's one I didn't list but should have. Sex outside the marriage! You are taking your life in your hands. There are so many diseases out there ... why do you think that is? God is trying to tell people get back to your moral values or you may die and it won't be good. Along with that it can cause suicide and murder ... remember ... jealousy ... envy?

There is far too much here to get into. I think you have the idea though. I hope it woke those of you who are asleep up!

God Bless and good night!

Honoring Our Parents ... 4th Commandment, part 2

2011-02-25T17:13:00.000-08:00

We need now to focus on how we can get past the past! It isn't easy but it can be done. You can learn to be at peace despite the pain. It's OK to feel the pain as long as we don't dwell on it. If we don't feel the pain then something is surely wrong!

The first thing we have to look at is our parents past. What was it like? Did they suffer at the hands of their parents? Are they over compensating for something they felt their parents did wrong? Hey ... maybe they are just feeling the same thing we feel. Maybe they longed to feel the love and acceptance from their parents. We need to understand that they ... OUR PARENTS ... did the best they knew how. Usually they did what they learned from their own childhood.

The next thing to look at is maybe they were afraid! They never raised children before. Maybe they didn't want us to experience what they did so they went to opposite extremes. Maybe they were afraid we wouldn't love them ... after all they didn't get the love they needed and they long for that. Maybe they had a fear of hurting you just like they were hurt.

There are so many things that could have caused them to react the way they did. I cannot explain loving one child over another. That one is beyond me. No matter what my kids do I could never disown them or just not make them part of my life. If I visit one ... I visit the others. If I give to one ... I give to the others. I love them all and I let them all know that. What kind of example would I be setting if I chose one over the other? You can't win someone over to the faith by a bad example!

I also know that a lot of what is considered abuse these days was the norm way back when. I was raised with it and although I didn't much like it I know now that I am a good person because of that so called "abuse." Yes there were times things went too far, but I still can't fault my parents for that. They gave me the one thing needed to get past the pain ... they gave me a good strong traditional Catholic faith! And for that I owe my parents, my dad above all, everything. It is that faith that made me the person I am today.

So what we have to do is stop and speak to God about the pain. Most of all ... listen ... to what He tells you. He will tell you that:

1. You can't change the past.
2. You must forgive ... or you can't be forgiven.
3. Through that forgiveness comes peace of soul.
4. All we need in this life are our Spiritual Parents. But we should strive to be there for our earthly parents as we owe them so much despite our upbringing.
5. Everytime you feel the pain say an Our Father ... it is after all the prayer Jesus gave us. Or a Hail Mary ... it is after all scriptural and she is our mother. See Luke chapter 1: 28 - 50
6. Think about how they (your parents) may have been raised and feel compassion for them.
7. Think about what you may have put them through ... through the sin of rebellion.

No matter how you look at it we must respect and honor our parents. We need to grow up and realize that God is in charge and we must not be disobedient to Him. We probably gave our parents a lot of grief because of the pain we were feeling at the time. We weren't old enough to know any better ... especially if our lives weren't rooted in the faith and the morals of the Catholic Church. Now that we are grown it is time to put the past behind us.

If we truly want to make ammends to God for our rebellious nature toward your parents then offer the pain to Him. Everytime I feel the pain I say "All For Thee Lord, All For Thee." In other words I am willing to suffer the pain for the love of God, without complaint, just as Jesus did. In this way I do penance for my past sins or I can offer it to God as penance for salvation of other's souls. People who don't pray for themselves or do penance for their sins need someone to care about them and to help them achieve salvation. What better in this life than to bring God souls through our penance and example!!!

I hope you can learn to give your pain to God and to forgive your parents and move past it all.

Next time we will talk about the 5th commandment! Almost half way!!!

God Bless and May you feel the peace of God in your soul!

Honoring Our Parents ... It's The 4th Commandment

2011-02-23T19:49:00.000-08:00

I would like to expand on the 4th commandment a little bit because I think a lot of people have trouble with this one due to abuse, neglect, indifference, or anything that made growing up difficult. I don't think anyone has a "perfect" life but many had a good enough life that they simply cannot understand those who didn't. Sometimes even children from the same family are not raised in the same way ... here I am speaking of favoritism ... something that can destroy a child's view of himself and life.

I can't understand how a parent could feel so little for their child or how a parent could view two children so differently. I am not talking about when they get older and make mistakes. I am talking about from birth. Sometimes parents aren't ready, or maybe they wanted the opposite sex, or maybe they just didn't want childrent to begin with. Yet one child can win the heart of the parents while the other will suffer at their hands.

When one child is favored over another, it destroys self worth in the other child. It is as though he dies inside. He or she feels inferior, unloved, stupid, inadequate, etc. These children feel that they can do nothing right, nor can they please the parents in any way. If they are told they are stupid or laughed at or always hear "are you telling me the truth?" they learn to back away from life. They can't feel proud of those things they do that should be looked at as accomplishments. They stay in the background and watch as life is loved and enjoyed by others, while they suffer and feel worthless.

This doesn't end when childhood is over. It continues through one's whole life. As adults these people can't talk to other people with confidence. They can barely follow through with things because they never feel what they are doing is "perfect" enough. They feel inferior to everyone and are very intimidated by most people. Every now and then they may meet someone with whom they can be at ease but it doesn't happen that often. To these people nothing feels right with life.

Most of all these adult "children" long all of their lives for some kind of acceptance from their parents. They NEED it. They cry many, many, tears because they feel so lost. People who have grown up in families like this also find their brothers and sisters can't understand them or don't even know them. The siblings often treat them with the same aloofness that their parents did. Unfortunately the damage is made worse in this case. The longing to be a part of the family ... to be able to connect ... to share what they all share ... is so intense that sometimes they feel like they can't go on.

I wish I could tell you that it gets easier. I wish I could tell you that in the end the love will be there. I wish I could tell you that there will be no more tears, but I can't. It will hurt for as long as you live or until things change. Unfortunately most of us never get that "on golden pond" ending. Most of us live with it until our last days.

When it comes to the 4th commandment we must obey it. No matter how our parents have hurt us or treated us we are bound by God to honor them ... After all they gave us life ... which believe it or not is GOOD despite our childhood troubles. Tomorrow we will talk a little bit more about this. Meanwhile look to your spiritual parents tonight for comfort and sleep well!

Tomorrow we will focus on how to get past it! It can be done. I do not promise no more pain. I don't promise a fix in the relationship or any magic ending. What I do promise is that you can learn to use your pain to your own spiritual benefit and even the benefit of others.

Good night ... sweet dreams ... not too many tears ... and God Bless You.

The Third and Fourth Commandments

2011-02-21T17:31:00.000-08:00

3. Keep holy the Sabbath
(Before I begin I would like to make it clear that I am writing with the belief that Sunday is the day of worship and rest.)

In today's world you will find many people who will tell you that they don't need to go to church in order to believe in God. They think it is OK to spend Sunday just like any other day. But this commandment tells us different. It says "keep HOLY the Sabboth." You can't do that by treating the day like any other.

When you consider all that Jesus did for us, don't you think it is fair to spend an hour in church on Sunday? That is the bare minimum we owe to God. Jesus died on the cross for us. He rose again so that we can have eternal life if we so choose. As always God gives us free will ... but how many of us choose Him?

Sunday is the day you should rise and spend some time in prayer. (I believe everyday should be filled with prayer.) You should go to church and show God your respect and love. When you go home you should rest and focus on the Lord. No dirt, no filth, nothing bad that the world offers us. You shouldn't be in the stores shopping unless it is absolutely necessary. You shouldn't be working unless your job doesn't offer an option and you need that job to sustain your life. You shouldn't be cleaning your house or doing other chores.

Sunday belongs to the Lord! He himself took a day of rest ... we should follow His example. We should give thanks all of Sunday to Him who does such great things for us. We OWE Him that.

4. Honor thy father and thy mother

We have a heavenly mother, the Blessed Virgin Mary and a heavenly father, God. We owe both of them respect and love. (Before you decide to come down on me for my belief I want you to know that as a Catholic I do NOT worship Mary. I simply love her because she is the mother of God. She was the living tabernacle in which Jesus dwelt. She is pure and holy and there is no woman her equal. When visiting her cousin Elizabeth she said "henceforth, all nations shall call me blessed!" (Luke 1:48) These are our spiritual parents and as such we owe them honor.

Our earthly parents, though not perfect, deserve our love and respect. They gave us life! What a gift!!! They have authority over us. They also owe us certain things. It is our parents duty to teach us the faith and raise us with moral values and the love of God.

When we are respectful and obedient to our parents we honor God. We also honor Him by following our faith and morals over evil authority. Living a good moral family life directly affects society This is so clear if you look at the world today. Families have fallen apart ... moral values have drastically declined ... and society is a mess.

Tomorrow I am going to expand on this discussion. Many of us have been let down by our parents. We have suffered because we feel like we don't belong ... we long day after day and cry tear after tear because we want so desperately to feel that they love us. It is my hope to be able to help you get past it ... to learn to focus on our spiritual parents instead of our earthly parents who may not be capable of giving us what we need.

Until then I say Peace and All Good and I will see you tomorrow.

The First Two Commandments

2011-02-20T16:50:00.000-08:00

1. I am the Lord thy God, thou shalt not have other gods before thee.

2. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain

These two commandments forbid a lot of things! The first commandment tells us that we are not to have other gods before us. What does this mean? It means that anything that you love more than God IS your God. A few examples are money, material things, gambling, our addictions, and even our computers or televisions. Clothing, our bodies, our looks ... too many things to list.

You should examine how much time you spend on your computer or watching TV ... how much time you spend putting on makeup, trying to improve on the beauty God has already created. How much time do you spend thinking of things you want or about the money that gets those things? How much time do you spend finding the right clothes for the day? The right shoes to go with your outfit? The right hairsyle? We could go on and on. Most of us spend way too much time thinking about ourselves and making ourselves our god or the things listed above our god.

Other ways we sin against this commandment are by having superstitions, believing in magic, using horoscopes, astrology, palm reading, interpretation of omens, the use of mediums or phenomena of clairvoyance etc. These things do not come from the Lord our God and our use of them shows our lack of trust in God. Our lack of putting Him first in all things.

God should be first and foremost in our lives because love begins and ends with Him. We spend so much time on other things and other people that we don't have time for God. What a shame. Not only are we hurting him, but we may be jeopardizing our souls. We need to begin to look forward to our time spent with God. We need to pray and fast and abstain from those things we love so we can begin to love God more. At first it is hard but it gets easier as you grow in faith and love of God. Soon God WILL become first in your life and you won't care about the other "gods" that once took His place.

The second commandment teaches us that we should NEVER use the Lord's name in vain. We must never speak against God or misuse His name. We must never swear on God's name either. Always use a simple yes or no ... that is enough. How many times do you hear God's name used in horrible ways? I hear it all of the time and my heart breaks every single time I hear it. Let's try a little harder not to offend our Saviour this way. He did so much for us ... this is a very small concession on our part.

Something most of us do not think about is the naming of our children. We should use Christian names ... no names contrary to Christianity. Our names should reflect our believe by using biblical names or names of saints.

So you can see that even though the first two commandments are very simple, there is really nothing simple about them if you really think about what they mean. I hope this helps give you a better understanding of them and helps you to live better lives based on them.

Next time I will discuss the 3rd and 4th commandments!

Have a great day and God Bless!

The Ten Commandments

2011-02-17T18:24:00.000-08:00

Tonight's post will be short and sweet! I want to talk about the ten commandments. I just finished studying them in the Catechism of the Catholic Church and all I can say is WOW! I don't think that most of us understand what each commandment entails. This is what I will share with you over the next week or so and I think you will be as surprised as I was!

I have heard some people say that in today's world you can't possible live by the ten commandments. I say "Why not?" I have also been told that they belong to the Old Testament and that Jesus gave us two new commandments. This is true ... and they are:

1. You must love the Lord with all your heart, all your mind, and all your soul.
2. You must love your neighbor as yourself.

Truth be told ... those two commandments hold within them all of the Ten Commandments and I will show you how.

If we are to live as Jesus did then we MUST live by all of the commandments. We must strive to live EVERYTHING they entail. If you don't you are jeopardizing your soul. It is all up to you. God gives us free will and will never interfere with that. He will nudge us and grant graces to turn to Him and His way but He will NEVER force us.

I choose the commandments and I hope by the time I am finished you will too!

God Bless and have a great night. See you tomorrow.

Leading Others to Christ

2011-02-15T18:56:00.001-08:00

I am not sure where to begin … I only know it must be said. Anyone who thinks it is themselves who is leading one to Christ is sadly mistaken. We can talk until we are blue in the face. We can rant and rave. We can take someone by the hand and lead them to the church but WE cannot make them believe. Only God can give you the gift of faith.

This should also be applied to the different churches out there. No matter how much you want someone to believe that YOUR church is The church you cannot, as a human being make them believe. Only God can show you what is right.

There is only one way to lead someone to Christ and to His church and that is by example. Even then it is not we who are leading … it is the Holy Spirit. I believe that God puts you in front of people who can help you to get where HE wants you to go and then it is up to you to accept the guidance offered you by Him … by the Holy Spirit. We don’t happen upon people by chance. There is a reason. There is a reason for everything God introduces to us or allows us to experience. It all boils down to ending up where God wants us and doing His will.

Imagine that you have been on the same path for many years, yet nothing changes and your life feels out of control. Suddenly … at just the right moment … God’s chosen moment … you come in contact with a new person. You listen, what your hear makes sense, and you feel maybe your life could change.

Or maybe you’ve been away from the Church for a long time and suddenly you meet someone who has a rock solid faith and it makes you think about going back. The feeling keeps nudging at you and won’t leave … God’s chosen moment?

Wow … what do you do? Do You continue down the well worn but unchanging path? The one that keeps you in the rut you’ve been in forever or do you recognize that just maybe God is showing you another way … the right way?

I, myself have been blessed enough to see where God was leading me. I wasn’t perfect … but no human being gets everything perfect. I have followed God, through the people and places He presented to me and He has led me to wonderful new heights of spirituality. I have come to a place in my life where I have found peace of soul … that can only come from God, Himself.

What I say is this: You can stay on your path or you can begin a new journey, but I, nor anyone else can force you. You have to open the eyes of your heart and follow where God leads you … It is between YOU and GOD!

Just remember as you take off your blindfold that ALL GOOD COMES FROM GOD … Kindness and compassion come from God. Love comes from God … everything good comes from God.

All else comes from human weakness or evil.

May God Bless You and Keep You Now and Always!

Loneliness

2011-02-11T13:10:00.001-08:00

This morning I went to sit with Our Lord for an hour. I needed something different to meditate on so I went to my bookshelves and was led to a book called "The School of Love" by Archbishop Alban Goodier. It was originally printed in 1919. I had to have been led to this book by the Holy Spirit, because it completely touched my soul as only God can do. I couldn't stop the tears as I realized that God was speaking to me from the pages of this book.
The first chapter is “Loneliness.” The Archbishop tells us that we will find many people in the Old Testament that were lonely. Abraham, Moses, David, Amos, and Osee are just a few he mentions. In the New Testament we find St. Paul whose aloneness began with his conversion. The saints were lonely. Most of all Jesus was alone. He was abandoned by his family (except for his mother), friends, even by his apostles. He was condemned by His own people.
Archbishop Goodier tells us “There are three schools of suffering, each with its own special blessing to bestow---physical, mental, and that inner school lies behind them both, loneliness of soul.” He goes on to say that “Physical suffering makes for tenderness of heart and a patient judgment. Mental suffering gives a deepened sympathy, an active influence which when ‘lifted up draws all thing to itself.’” He says that “Loneliness of the soul does more than this; it gives independence and strength.” It also does these things … secures liberty of spirit, develops clearness of judgment, and enforces power of will. Finally he says that “all the gifts of the Holy Ghost come through and are fostered by loneliness of soul.”
We need to understand that he is not speaking of normal loneliness, such as not having anyone to talk to at the moment, or missing your husband or friend while they are away. He is speaking of a loneliness so deep in your heart that it causes great sorrow and suffering. In the Archbishop’s words "we are speaking of that sense of desertion, of alienation from one’s kindred, of being somehow out of joint with all the world , of separation from God Himself, which human nature can scarcely endure; which even our Lord Himself considered to justify a cry for relief.” Those words hit me like a brick! The truth is right here before us.
Most people become bitter and hateful of those who have deserted them … of those family members who treat them as outcasts … of the world for not loving and accepting them … most of all they blame God for their misfortune. How sad this is.
I am one of those people who felt alienated from those closest to me and totally out of joint with the world. For a long time I lived as I just described above … the way most people do. I even walked away from God for many years.
About 16 years ago I began to understand. I went back to church and the more I grew in my faith, the more I was able to see just how much God loves me. I have suffered tremendously all of my life and have shed many tears because of the loneliness of soul. Today that loneliness is stronger than ever and the tears still fall, but I have a wonderful peace in my soul that can only come from God. I feel very blessed that He has allowed me this gift of His love. For that is what suffering is. It is a gift to be thankful for. It is meant to fine tune us and make us turn to God as a child turns to it’s parents. It is meant to lead us to holiness and eventually to Heaven!
I realize that I have not yet reached that point of holiness that God desires us to reach. I am but a beginner. I have felt God’s absence for short periods but I think it is only because of my own failures and shortcomings in my spiritual life. I hope someday I will reach perfection. Until then I will continue on with my education in God’s School of Love.
Jesus was our teacher. He set the example. Learn from it.

Looking Toward Heaven

2011-02-08T16:38:00.001-08:00

I am a simple woman, living a simple life in a very complicated and ugly world. It isn’t easy, but it is a beautiful and peaceful life.

My husband and I live on a meager income and are trying to rid ourselves of the burden of material things. We seek instead the things of the next world … heaven.

My intention is to try and help others to achieve peace of mind. I will use scripture and my own life lessons to show how beautiful a life lived for God is.

May God Bless and Keep You … see you tomorrow!