Radiance

 I sit here now, the quiet of the morning well past.  The two littles are racing after a toy, but I can't bring myself to even move. The radiance of the sun is penetrating not just my flesh but my very being. I'm paralyzed by the warmth as my soul sings to its Creator. I can't bare to open my eyes.   Why would I want to, when I can bask in all of His glory. I think to myself is this what it will be like to be face-to-face with Him? Is this what my soul has longed for for some four decades? It is often been the cry of my heart that I might seek his face. Who am I, that he is mindful of me?  Why would he allow me to lift my eyes to gaze upon his Beauty? He envelopes me with his warm embrace,  and his love drowns out the anxieties of life. He takes upon himself my sin and my shame. Yesterday's and Today's. And in their place, I find joy and peace.Here, in this place, I hear him pleaing for me, just as he did for the sinners who nailed Him on the cross, and those whose bodies hung next His own. This I remembered as I read before the light shown bright this morning..."forgive them father for they know not what they do."  I am bent, broken and disturbed, that my Father could love me so much. Me. You. And everyone else who is aware and unaware of His Goodness and Mercy.  I pray that this humility would continue to bring me low even when that radiance disappears in the clouds.  That I somehow could contain this measure of enlightenment as I abide in His Presence. I am grateful.